Project Stepford Hannah

Summer is kind of a grueling time for me. Sure it's nice to not have to worry about school every day, but when you have a regular job and a mile long list of things that need to get done before leaving for school in a month and a half, it just feels...stressful.

I've finished my nannying job for the summer, and I have just over a month before my job at the state fair begins. Today I began the laborious task of organizing all my stuff. This is particularly difficult because I don't really know where to put things since I'll be moving again in less than two months. I've commandeered the family coat-rack to serve as a temporary closet and most of my remaining belongings are sitting in big blue plastic bins from Menards. As a result, my room looks more like a garage. A messy one. Today, however, I made huge strides in my wardrobe's health. Mom and I spent about an hour each sorting through out closets and trading pieces that we knew were never going to get worn. I've gone through my dresser three times since finals week and each time I've been able to get rid of more clothes. Even if its just a few t-shirts, every piece makes a difference when you have limited space. My method? I imagine perfect Hannah in my mind who is fashionable beyond belief and ask myself if perfect Hannah would wear (this shirt, that jacket, these pants). No? Throw it into the Goodwill pile.

The idea of this perfect Hannah really began when I was in late elementary school. I remember I was looking through one of the last American Girl catalogues that came to my house. I came across what I considered to be the perfect outfit; a nautically striped t-shirt, white pants, and wedge espadrilles. I imagined myself as a young adult (I mean early twenties) wearing the outfit with long dark wavy hair. Of course in this fantasy I was also dating Daniel Radcliff, an endeavor that has since found its way off my to-do list...I don't think I was actually doing anything in this fantasy, I just knew that 'this girl has got herself together'. I was pretty, successful, talented, well-liked, basically everything anyone could dream of being.

Since then I haven't forgotten my lofty aspirations of perfection. In fact for the last three years, my new years' resolution has been 'to be perfect'. Don't get me wrong here; I know that no one is perfect and I know that I never will be perfect. However, in my opinion there is nothing wrong with aiming for perfection. I guess this is just my way of saying 'why settle?'

Finally, at the beginning of Spring Quarter I decided to raise the stakes in my apprehension of perfection; hence Project Stepford Hannah. The project really isn't that much of a change from my every day life, but committing to practicing at least three hours every day and not wearing sweatpants to school have actually made a difference. They are little things, but when I actually follow through on both I feel so much more productive and ready to take on the world! Now I think I have to push myself to see if I can commit to keeping my apartment clean...